What would my life look like ideally?

Ideally, Chris would not have grown up without a father figure in his life. He is 17 years and nearly 4months old and has never known the love of a father. It is my biggest regret in life. I have provided him with all that he has needed and much of what he has wanted, but the one thing he has needed most, I could not give him. I could not shield him from the hurt that he has felt behind his father not being present in his life. I have failed him in that respect, because for whatever reason, I could not provide a father-like figure in his life. As a result, there are many things that he does not know, that he should know, experiences that he hasn’t had, but should have. So, yeah, ideally, at a very young age in Chris’ life, I would have met someone who would love and treat Chris as his own.

Ideally, Steven would not have to feel like he must choose between his parents. Shaking my head. I don’t even know how to make this one work. This conversation just came up tonight. He asks me, “Mama, did Daddy tell you what I told him?”  (No, he didn’t, what did you tell him Steven?) “Mama, I’m tired of going back and forth on the weekends.” ☹ Ideally, Steven just wouldn’t have to think that he must choose.

Ideally, I would have met & married a man who loved me and loved my boys as though they were flesh of his flesh and blood of his blood.

Ideally, I would have birthed a mini me (a girl).

Ideally, I would have finished law school and been a practicing attorney with the Innocence Project, saving lives, one case at a time.

Ideally, I would have a better relationship with my brothers and sisters.

Ideally, I would be able to spend more time with my nieces and nephews.

Ideally, I would have seen much of the world already.

Ideally, I would take girls trips with my best friends at least once a year.

Ideally, I wouldn’t be writing a blog about an ideal life, because I would be living it. 😊

Goodnight Rel8ers. Tomorrow is a new day!

With Love & Respect, 





1 thought on “Ideally.”

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